Ku Na a.k.a SyawA in da haus

Few more hours to go and i will be boarding the plane back to KUL. I am so happy and excited and the same time tired and broed of course.

I woke up early today… and it is SUNDAY! I can’t sleep because i know i have not finished packing my stuff. I can’t sleep because i know i will be leaving Aydin for two weeks. I can’t sleep because i am afraid things in the house will go chaos while i am not around. Call me "mak rimau" (Tiger’s mum) but i am so particular on how i bring up my child. Aydin is at the stage of learning new words and imitating what others do. I hope the maid or whoever will not spoil him while i am not around. Sigh.. there’s nothing much you can do from abroad but keep on reminding hubby of the do’s and dont’s

2 more days to go and i will be leaving for Houston on a business trip for 2 weeks. I am excited and also nervous and also emotional, i have all my feelings mixed up. To make it worse, i have a knock-out futsal game tomorrow with EMIT. Let’s take it one thing at a time:

Excited: I am all set to visit the country where i received my Bachelor’s Degree. I wish i could drop by in Kansas City and visit some old friends but i couldnt find any cheap airfares online. I have basically planned out my trip besides the official work of course, and i am sure i will have loads of fun though i will be there all by myself

Nervous: This is the first time i will be meeting my new team members and my boss. I am not sure what are their expectation but one thing for sure i will be bringing back alot of work load with me.

Emotional: Obviously because this will be my first time being away from Aydin, my precious little prince. I have never been away for not even a day, let alone 2 weeks! I hope i will survive this trip and he will survive the days without me. Aydin is a mummy’s boy and he sleeps with me every night. I hope i do not have to call him every night before he goes to bed.

Sigh.. what more could i ask for but an interesting and challenging life.

Believe it or not, i didnt know that others view my friendster differently. What i mean is, i didnt know that what i see whenever i logged into my friendster’s account is different from how other’s view it whenever they view my page.. :)) Rupa-rupanya, a summary of my blog is attached on the frontpage or whatever you call it on friendster *bimbo*. So for all this while i thought peoplpe would have to figure out at a certain link to view my blog sebab tu i was so confident that people hardly reads it. And i was complaining to myself one fine day because i could not see the background you customized though i dah buat banyak2 kali rupa-rupanya kena bukak the actual site hahaha… so much for computer science graduate. Can i blame it on the year i graduated and the recent technology? Or the technology is moving too fast for me to catch up? That’s what i call "Bimbo!" (shut-up ezu! i know you are laughing)

Anyway, like i said in my earlier blog, my life has been pretty challenging lately. I put the blame on myself for having too much time to think. I have had no time to think this much for the past… one and the half year or probably more because i started to lose the time to myself since i got pregnant to Aydin. After i found out i was a pregger, i spent most of my time thinking about the bub. After i gave birth to Aydin, it was… the bub a.k.a Aydin (duuhh!!). My whole life revolves around Aydin especially when hubby had to work in Kulim for 7-8 months. Not that he was not home every weekend but a profession as a mother is definitely a 26-hour job especially when your other half is not around. Now that i have a maid and hopefully she will be around for quite some time, and hubby back in town AND a new job which has not really kicked off until i have completed my training, i have all the time in the world to THINK and analyze life (obviously not when Aydin is around la..).

OK.. that’s all about my THINK for now because suddenly my brain has stopped THINKING. I shall go back to sleep… nite!

Life has been pretty undpredictable lately. It has been confusing too. First and for all, let us start with the usual opening statement (not that anyone is reading this blog hah!). Yeah, have been away for too long since the last entry. I have finally got connected the net after a while of contemplating whether to get a streamyx to my own home or not. And the other question was, which package should i take.

Career and job description helped me with the decision. I took up a new challenge in ExxonMobil; left SAP R/2 Technical team and joined the new Integration Support team of course doing SAP R/3, yeahaa!! FInally back to SAP R/3. Anyway (’coz i bet not everyone who reads this blog which is i think none, would understand what i am saying) , this new job functions requires alot of sacrifice i.e: privacy and of course the balance of work & life if there is such thing as work life balance :p I will be on-call support and i might have to make a lot of travelling or atleast that’s what they told me when they "interviewed" me. It is definitely a challenge of mind & body.

Back to unpredictable story of life. Sometimes, you just dont know what the hell is your head thinking or was it your heart? I think life in the older days are much easier: women stay at home to take car of the kids and hubby comes back with food to feed the household. Now, women and men leave for work every morning and child is taken care by the maid. I quote a friend saying, "Nanti kau balik anak kau cakap Indon" LoL. I dont deny that it is a possible scenario but then again i read the famous website for parents especialy mothers (www.babycenter.com), you can try to spend more time (whatever is left) with your kid and speak to them clearly. They are more perceptive towards the parents compared to the caregiver. I really hope this is a fact because i seriously want Aydin to speak to me in clear crispy English.

Ooopss.. i think i have sidetracked from the original topic: Unpredictable life. Suffice to say that i am in the situation where i do not understand what is happening in my life let alone have the time to identify what is going on hah! If i can recall clearly the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus did mentioned that Women tend to think ALOT and most of things they think about are unnecessary. They just like to complicate things where else men take things in the simpler way. It is like all the solutions are objective: yes or no. Does this means men’s brain is working less than women’s? There we go again… trying to solve the unnecessary

It’s approximately 30 minutes before the end of year 2005. Welcome year 2006!! I have had a wonderful and interesting year. Alot has happened in year 2005 and the most memorable one happened on 10 Dec 2005. My first child was born on that day and that marks the first chapter of  my new life as a mother. Let me share with you a summary of my experience on that day.

10 December 2005

7.30 a.m : I woke up because i think i felt my water bag broke. To confirm this i went to the loo and check just to make sure that it was not part of my dream. To double confirm it, i cross checked with "What to Expect When You are Expecting" book. That’s when i felt the water trickling down my leg for the second time. This is when i woke hubby up and tell him that i think i am in labor. I took my own sweet time and take a shower and pack my hospital bag.

8.00 a.m : We stopped by at Esso to get our breakfast because i was afraid that i will not have the energy to push later. That was when i felt more water trickling but i stayed calm.. (advice from the book)

8.30 a.m : Admit myself in SJMC and happily eating breakfast with hubby in the labor room. Note: No contractions yet but 2cm dilated.

10 a.m : Back contraction started. Midwives told that it is normal for contraction to start from the back and eventually move to the front. Hubby stayed with me and massaged my back.

12 noon : Back contraction got worse. I was in pain and was still holding on. Doctor Delaila advised to go for Epidural because i looked like i was in "hell". I compromised and went with the injection instead. I was still 2 cm dilated.

3 p.m : They lied!! The contraction became intense and it didn’t move to the front. I could hardly stay calm. I tried practising my breathing and it didnt really help. I was already half conscious due to the drugs earlier but i can still feel the pain. I was only about 4cm dilated.. damn!!

4 p.m : I can’t take it anymore. I need more drugs!! I asked for another shot, the most they could give me. I was already feeling the urge to push but i was not fully dilated. They gave the gas to help me cope with the pain. Doctor did not want to induce me because it will give me more pain and she was afraid that i would faint. At that time, i was already a druggie hahaha…

6 p.m : There was no way i can take the pain anymore. I was already in and out of consciousness due to high intake of drugs. I was already pushing involuntarily no matter how hard i tried not to.

8.20 p.m : It is time to push.. finally! I pushed and pushed and pushed… they saw the hair, the head but that’s it. The baby was stuck! They asked me to push harder and i pushed with all my might but it didn’t make any different. Gawd! I felt like telling them to just pull him out.. like what’s the problem people??

8.41 p.m: After all the hardwork and agony, it was all paid off with the arrival of a baby boy into the world. I was ecstatic but was also drowsy and tired. Finally, Mohamad Aydin Eidlan was born and it also marked a new chapter in my life as a mother.

I am waiting patiently for my new bundle of joy to arrive. My expected due date is 11 Dec however, i am already in my 1st stage labor with 1cm dilation since last Monday. Different people. different experience. Some may take 1 hour to advance from 1cm to 2cm but some may take weeks to progress. I am getting heavier and all this excitement and anticipation is wearing me off. I guess it is God’s way of asking the mum-to-be to enjoy her rest while she can before the bub arrives.

Bub is progressing fine, Alhamdulillah. I can now feel him squirming and his little foot poking my rib. I can’t wait to see his cute little face and feel his cute little fingers and toes.

Oopss.. times up. To be continued when i get the chance.

It’s been a while since i updated my blog. I have been busy with work and busy being pregnant too It’s the 36th week today approx. 9 months pregnant and i can go into labor anytime soon… Life as a pregger has been smooth sailing with no morning sickness or major illnesses. Baby weighs almost 3kg and loves to wriggle his butt and stretch his legs. With the limited amount of space left in the tummy, i dont blame him for trying to get comfortable.

Ooohh.. my life is going to change soon and i hope to be able to take it one step at a time. Thanks to all for all your support and i really hope to share the pictures of my new bundle of joy soon.

-mum to be.

This is my last week with DHL. I am finally moving my career back into SAP with Exxonmobil and to be frank i am a bit nervous about it. It’s been almost 3 years since the last time i had my hands on SAP and I really hope i can easily get back back on track with the rest.

Oooh.. before i forget, i have a reason for not keeping this blog updated. My cousin, Shikin has introduced me to another blog site at www.xanga.com. There i have the option to published my blog to public or limit it to some privacy. You can check out my blog at www.xanga.com/ku_na (if i get this right).

Anyways, alot of things have been happening lately. I got to meet Anuar Zain in person but unfortunately i am too lazy to look out for the camera cable to upload the pictures. I have also been busy helping a friend promoting her brother on AF3, AFUNDI AIDIL hehehe… He has the potential to become a succesful artist and i believed that he would be able to make it through probably till the top 5? I just cannot believe i knew him since he was a small boy running around the house in his shorts.

Pregnancy, i am already in my 17 weeks. Went for my last check-up and i lost another 1.5kg. Dr Delaila said it is normal for some pregnant mothers to lose weight at their first 5 months. However, i have to ensure that i do not lose more than 5kg or there will be something serious to think about.  Baby looks fine and healthy. We saw the baby sucking the thumb and bub looks calmer this time compared to the last time where he/she was busy kicking his legs up in the air. I guess at this stage he/she is busy discovering the use of the hands pulak. I was hoping that we could tell the gender of the baby at that time but doctor said i will have to wait till my next check-up insya-Allah.

Things have been pretty slow in the office for some obvious reason.. DUHH!! So i am keeping myself occupied by writing blogs and emails to almost everyone. I am wearing my new maternity shirt to work today, bought from Erina’s friend at a very reasonable price compared to some famous maternity shops. My tummy does not look THAT big yet but i am running out of baggy clothes to wear to work. I mean i do wanna look smart and trendy so of course it involves some investment right?! Hahaha.. another lame excuse from a pregnant lady.

OK it is almost lunch time and today Sandy and Annie is treating me lunch. Get to save some lunch money for a while heheheh…

Date: 27 April 2005

Time: 1708hrs (KUL)

It has been 2 weeks since i found out that i was 5 weeks 2 days pregnant. It was definitely an unexpected news as we have been trying to conceive for some time now. We did the test at Dr. Delaila’s clinic as i was afraid of dissapointment if the test turns out negative. Alhamdullilah, Allah has answered my prayer and i am so happy that i am actually stepping into another phase of life.

Dear Hubby was so excited. The moment he stepped out from the doctor’s room, he was busy sms’ing almost everyone in his phonebook LOL. So much for keeping it discreet until the 3rd month. Anyway, dad and mum was very thrilled as well. They deserve some consolation after what dad has to go through in London. More the reason to be in Malaysia when my child is born. Mum told me that Dad is thinking of getting his first grandchild a stroller from MacLaren. Gosh! I have a longer way to go but then again they are as excited as i am so let them be.

I will be going for another check-up this Friday insya-Allah to check out for the heartbeat. I hope everything is fine. There was an article in Babycenter.com and it said that the first heartbeat you hear is one of the happiest and most emotional moment while expecting. How i can’t wait for Friday…

Time to snack some digestives crackers before my stomach gets very gassy… More news and development to come soon…

p/s: check out my photo album frequently as i will upload all the interesting pictures online.